


Dizzney

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is bitten by a giant mouse with unfortunate results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dizzney

**Author's Note:**

> I have at least 3 other more serious stories in the works, but this plot bunny attacked me so viciously it woke me at 6a.m. so here it is.

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"Look out, there's another giant mouse behind you!" Captain America shouted. He threw his shield left-handed. His right arm was occupied keeping a tilting, bleeding, Iron Man from falling. There was a good size bite taken out of the armor on the right leg, and a fair size bite taken out of Tony's leg beneath.

"Where did they come from?" Clint asked as he lined up a shot to skewer half a dozen giant mouse-kabobs in one go.

"Everywhere!" Natasha leaped, spun and drop kicked one of the largest mice in his red shorts. 

"Foul Vermin!" Thor twirled up lightning and fried mice wholesale. "Do not let them near you, friend Hulk! If they can bite through armor, your skin will not stop them."

"HULK SMASH!" The Hulk picked up a length of chain link fence and used it as a giant mouse swatter. There were some horrible popping sounds, and then the basso squeaks faded away. Flat giant mice littered the pavement everywhere.

"Good job, Hulk," Captain America said. He slung his shield behind his back and turned his attention to the limp weight dragging at his side. "How are you doing, Iron Man?"

The face plate opened on Iron Man's helmet and Tony grinned. "I'm so happy I could bounce!" (1) Then he fired up the jet boots and took off with Captain America hanging onto him. "To infinity…and beyond!" (2)

"Ok, " Clint said after a long pause while everyone else stared up into the sky at the rapidly shrinking figures. "I think we may have a little problem here."

***

"Tony!" Steve shouted against the wind. "You have to land! You're sick!"

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." (3) 

"No, of course you're not bad, Tony. You're... not well."

"Most everyone’s mad here. You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself."(4) Tony did a loop-the-loop around Stark Tower. Then he closed his eyes and flew a backwards spiral.

"I noticed! Look where you're going!"

"Hakuna Matata!  It means 'no worries,' for the rest of your days." (5) 

"You're going to get us both killed!"

Tony opened his eyes and looked at Steve. "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." (6)

Steve sighed. "That's sweet, Tony. Really." 

"Don't you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!" (7) Tony flung his arms wide, including the one Steve was hanging onto.

"Then STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!" Steve was beginning to lose his temper.

"All you need is a little faith, trust, and pixie dust." (8)

"Great! I have some pixie dust in my room, let's go get it!" 

"I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!" (9) Tony shouted as he just missed taking the tip off the Chrysler Building. "We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on." (10)

"You don't even LIKE ME!"

"No of course I like you, It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion." (11)

"Tony, you are a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, remember? You don't want me." 

"Look at you!  You're a Buzz Lightyear!  Any other toy would give his moving parts just to be you!  You are a cool toy." (12)

"TONY! This is an order! Return to Avengers base at once!"

"Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying." (13) Tony turned in the air and hugged Steve to his chest.

"I'm beginning to regret having caught you when Loki threw you out of the tower."

"Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel." (14)

Steve let his head fall forward to thunk against the armor. "The others will be worried about us."

"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." (15) Tony sighed and turned toward the tower. "I hate it when you use Ohana on me." (16) Tony landed on the balcony and set Steve down before letting the machinery remove his armor. He wobbled over to the couch and flopped down on his back. The rest of the Avengers were there, staring down at him. He smiled and waved a hand. "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good." (17) Then he closed his eyes and began snoring.

Steve sighed and went to get the first-aid kit for Tony's wounded leg. "I sure hope we've seen the last of those giant mice."

**Author's Note:**

> Disney now owns Marvel. My subconscious chewed that thought over for a few days, and woke me up with the basic idea for this. Then came the googling, collating and organizing. 
> 
> 1) Winnie-the-Pooh (Tigger)  
> 2) Toy Story (Buzz Lightyear)  
> 3) Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Jessica Rabbit)  
> 4) Alice in Wonderland (Cheshire cat)  
> 5) The Lion King (Timon & Pumbaa)  
> 6) Winnie The Pooh  
> 7) Peter Pan (Peter to Tinkerbelle)  
> 8) Peter Pan  
> 9) The Parent Trap  
> 10) Hercules  
> 11) Finding Nemo (Marlin)  
> 12) Toy Story (Woody)  
> 13) Finding Nemo  
> 14) The Emperor's New Groove  
> 15 & 16) Lilo and Stitch  
> 17) Lilo and Stitch


End file.
